[song starts at 3:11]
We have Maxwell who thinks he's alive, talking to Genevieve, who he sees as alive, but who is, in his timeline, dead. and we have Genevieve, who thinks she's dead, speaking to Maxwell, who she sees as half dead, just kind of wasting away, but who is in actuality fighting for his fucking life. And this is the delusion that love often operates under and is here as well. one of the things that kept going through my mind, as I was going through this crisis of faith, as I explained earlier, was this idea of god as not this omnisceint, omipresent, or maybe being omni-everything but the results of
that being somewhat different than we would expect. Now you have God, who is the creator, and who makes man in his image, all this kind of shit, but instead of being an all powerful, all knowing, all full of love, being, with a plan, well let's reverse engineer god from what we know about man. Man being a kind of duplicitous, fucked up entity, what does that say about the god in whose image man is made? what if god is a creator sure but kind of a fuck up a loser, an artist, what if god is like any of us, creators, artists, but fucked up, cruel, mean, deceptive, angry, petty? now this is the kind of god I was being judged by. this is the kind of god I beleived in. this is the kind of god who I could not get away from, whose judgement I could not get away from. So we are evil. So while we maybe shouldnt strive to do evil, as it is very destructive, maybe we should embrace it for what it is. I AM A BEAST, AND I WON'T BE STOPPED.